And also imagine that you may have one elderly relative die. There are worse tragedies, and the whole family dies in a car accident. And now imagine that at any moment not only your parents can die, but also friends, colleagues, a sweet girl Lena from the next entrance.
Do you have a favorite place in the city? A cozy courtyard at your grandmother’s apartment? A bench on the riverbank, where you liked to think about life? Imagine that this place no longer exists. As well as the store where you bought a TV, the park where you walked with your child, the office with your favorite job, a delicious cheese shop. Imagine that you look at a million endless photos of your city, recognize almost every street, and realize that it no longer exists. And this one isn’t there either. And that one.
This is how I feel looking at the photos of Kharkiv.
And also imagine that you may have one elderly relative die. There are worse tragedies, and the whole family dies in a car accident. And now imagine that at any moment not only your parents can die, but also friends, colleagues, a sweet girl Lena from the next entrance. And if this happens, you are unlikely to find out right away, you will not say goodbye. And even if they got in touch today, you still think, what will it be like if they find themselves under the rubble? And if there is a blockade, how does it feel to die of hunger?
But the city and the people are not everything either! There is also a high probability that you no longer have a job. There is not all the money that you have invested in buying a new apartment and its furnishings. There is no cool velocipede that you bought for your child’s birthday.
Previously, when trouble happened, I could count on relatives from Russia. My mother’s own sister, my cousin, godmother, 10-15 more people? They don’t answer. I write that our common grandmother probably died, and they don’t answer. Can you imagine that?
But maybe there is hope for other Russians? On bloggers, whom he admired, on friends. But no, they say they are very sympathetic and it’s all terrible, but they can’t do anything, it’s dangerous to go to rallies. I believe that it is dangerous, but how can we contrast all the economic horror that awaits Russians, all that Ukrainians go through, with 15 days in prison (this was before the new laws)? This is a terrible feeling of corrosive disappointment because it seemed that it was “this” person who would definitely try to do something. And now imagine that you no longer have faith in Russians and hope for a revolution.
And so, everything is fucked up on all fronts. But I have to live somehow. Somehow it is necessary to smile at children. We need to figure out how to help 7 incapacitated relatives who were able to cross the border.
How? How can you continue to live?