Elena, Mirgorod

Girlfriends who would like me to have lighter humor, more refined manners, listening to their well-being sufferings, their requests not to talk about the negative, learn to forgive, accusations that we provoked the father. Much more. One day my father once again kicked me out of the house. And I left. Mom left with me, but it turned out to be too difficult for her, and she came back.

The war is coming to Donetsk. Shots, equipment. Mom and I are leaving. We rent far from the best housing, we work at several jobs. Familiar Russians for the most part can’t help, they need more information, they have their own problems, requests to separate the bad from the good, not to escalate. Mom can’t cope again and returns to Donetsk because it has become quieter there, and here no one is in a hurry to help us. I stay alone, I start a relationship, we build a house, we live in harsh conditions, but without violence.

At the end of 2021, Ukrainians are obliged to register for military service. I’m worried, I’m starting to stock up and I’m increasing my training time. No one takes it seriously. The Russian troops are imitating the exercises, and I’m trying to persuade the girls I know to leave. They ask me to calm down. And so the war began.

Explosions. The sound of airplanes. Mom is in a panic, it hasn’t been so loud and scary in Donetsk for a long time, but she can’t leave for another country because of her health condition. The husband can’t leave either. Air alert 3-6 times a day. Executions. There are no rape statistics anywhere. The phantom siren. You wake up just like that several times a night. The fear of starving again, as in those cities that are already unlucky. Fear of losing your home again. Fear of seeing a lot of blood and losing a loved one. You spend several hours a day to find out how your loved ones are because they don’t have a connection from time to time. You read the news, the rest of the time you volunteer or try to work. You see that familiar Russians can’t help you in any way, they have their own problems, requests to suffer more quietly, and be eco-friendly. Listening to their suffering, which is much higher in the Maslow pyramid, some need more information, please remember that not everyone is like that.

Twice violence came to me from Russians, two out of three times I can be killed by Russian men. Not everyone is like that, but if they kill me, they will kill me for your taxes. And you’ll forgive yourself for that. If something happens at the nuclear power plant, will you forgive yourself?

Thank you to every Russian woman who does at least something against the war, against the violence of men against women, helps women to build their lives again. You are the rays of light!

Every Ukrainian woman is a diamond! Please survive, we will rebuild everything.