I say my process of deciding to come to Spain was craziness. I decided and organized everything in 3 months.
Life in Brazil was very overwhelming. I worked for 4 years in a company as a receptionist. I worked 12 hours every day so it was very complicated. It reached a point where I thought that 4 years in that life was enough. I needed to change, to go to a new place. I needed to have a new experience.
I say my process of deciding to come to Spain was craziness. I decided and organized everything in 3 months. I resigned from my old job, then I started searching for a way to come. I found the au pair program, which I found out to be the easiest and cheapest way to come here. And then I just thought yeah, I am leaving! Goodbye! It was a quick process, a bit crazy. I couldn’t plan everything very well, and because of that, I had a few bad moments which could be avoided if I had planned better. But I do not regret anything.
Then I arrived here. I have been in Barcelona for 2 years already, and 2,5 years living in Spain. I lived in Alicante, Murcia, and now Barcelona. I like Spain a lot, but it was never my dream to live in Barcelona. It was a thought like “if one day it happens, I will go”. But then I arrived here, I made very good friends. I have friends for life. My job also makes me stay here. The city is nice and beautiful, when we don’t have restrictions it is a city where we always have many things to do. It is nice, I didn’t expect to live here for more than a year, and now I have been here for two… I adapted and I am adapting.
When I arrived here a challenge was the adaptation with the food, the language, with having to search everything by myself, the bureaucracy, how to travel from one city to another, so I think that this responsibility was one of the biggest challenges in the beginning. Now I am already used to it and adapted to it. Then, the coronavirus arrived and we had to adapt again.
What I miss the most is my family. It is a daily feeling. I need to talk to my mother and siblings every day. I guess the main challenge I faced since I came here is the current moment because my mom is sick. We always were very close and now handle her sickness without being allowed to be there at least to tell her that everything is going to be well, is very difficult. For me, every day, I feel guilty. So it is being very difficult to deal with this situation being far from her. Something I miss a lot – apart from my family – is the food and parties, my friends…to have all my friends together and make a Brazilian barbecue, to walk on the streets and drink with my friends without any concern. All of that was something very simple but awesome.
My first goal, for now, is to finish my job as an au pair, which will be done in July 2021. After finishing this phase, I want to get a new job, to rent my own place, either in Barcelona, Madrid or anywhere. That is it, I hope to save some money, to have my place, to have my things, my routines. I want to save some money so I can visit Brazil and maybe to bring my family to visit me here.
About my dreams… Well, I feel lucky to have accomplished many dreams in this life. Simple dreams like going to watch the concert of my idol, or to watch a match, to live abroad… So now, my biggest dream is related to my mom. I want her to be cured and well, and that I can see her next year. After the dream of seeing my mom cured, my other dream is to go to see her and to be in Brazil to see my friends. Even just to go to a “padaria” and ask for some local traditional bread.
People usually glamourize life in Europe because they think we are here good all the time, living in a first-world country and that every day we party, etc. But dealing with missing your people, with the desire to go out on the street and speak your language or even just buying some stuff that you just find in Brazil… it may seem very “little” to some people, but when you are living for a lot of time outside of Brazil all of that feels like a need.
In the end, I would say that it is necessary to be brave and have courage. You know, if you have to do anything without knowing if it is gonna be right or not, just do it. If you plan, it can be wrong or good. A few times I feel alone, that I should not live that, but there are many rewards. It is hard, but after some time I can feel I learned a lot and that I am rewarded. Thanks to God, I had some bad seasons, but now things are getting better. I see my freedom is coming. I thought I wouldn’t be able to deal with all of that, that I wouldn’t have money, I would end up on the streets, that I would have to go back to Brazil… But it has been 2 years, and day by day things happen, I survive.
Also, when I am sad, I ask myself: The 15-year-old Micaele would be proud of what the actual Micaele has become? And yes, she would be very proud of everything. Very proud of everything that I have lived so far.