Christina, Kropyvnytskyi

Then I started having ringing in my ears. It constantly seemed to sound like a siren. Now we don’t run anymore. We sit in the corridor. There was no invasion sudden for me. I have been following politics for a long time. But I didn’t expect it to be a full-fledged war and not an attempt to bring the LDNR to the borders areas.

On the evening of February 23, news broke that the invasion might start tomorrow at 4 am. I just finished reading the book, finished at 3 hours. She sat until four, but nothing happened. I am calm; she fell asleep with her conscience, but not for long: at 05:20, she woke up from a call from her husband, who said that Russia had attacked. I didn’t even believe it at first. Parents woke up, and we began to fuss, collect things, documents in case you have to leave. Luckily, it hasn’t happened yet. A little bit later woke up my sister: “Get up, you’re not going to school, the war has begun.”

My husband is Russian. I lived with him in Russia for two years, but because of bureaucratic delays, I had to temporarily leave back in December. I planned to return in early April, and now I don’t even know when we will reunite. April 18 will be our second wedding anniversary. He is exceeding regrets that he could not go with me to Ukraine and be near me in such hard times. He even quit his job because, with the start of the invasion, his colleagues began to openly rejoice at the war, to joke about it, knowing that he had a wife in Ukraine. If he hadn’t left, he would get into a fight sooner or later.

I have no idea how we can live on. I want to cry at the sight of destroyed houses, schools, and shopping centers. I start to roar if I see the beaten places I once was. In December, I was in Kharkiv. I’m afraid to imagine how he now looks. You can go crazy thinking about how many people died and how many are homeless. How many people do not receive the necessary medical assistance? How many people have abandoned or euthanized their animals? This war will leave a terrible imprint on our country, our people. I want to believe that Ukraine will win and recover. But it does not bring back thousands of lost lives. We must never forget them.